Questions Answered Part 2

Okay everybody, here are the rest of your questions and my answers. Thank you to all of you who took the time to ask them and/or read them. Now you know a little more about me. Have a great day :)

11. Nine years into your marriage, is military life all you thought it would be? Is it better or worse?
That's tough to say. The military life is not simply black or white, because it's mostly gray. It's not good or bad, there is good and bad to everything, it is what it is. You take what you know and live your life making the best of it. I was 19 when I got married. I was naive and didn't really know what to expect. I didn't know a whole lot about the military before marriage. I guess I didn't really realize how much control the military has on your life. It's impossible to plan anything, and plans already set in motion can change day to day. That is hard to adjust to. When your husband is on a deployment that is only supposed to last 8 months and it ends up being 11, that is hard to adjust to. On the positive side, there is a mutual understanding and a connection that military families have that is wonderful. They stick close together and I have made some one of a kind friendships through that.

12. Where all have you been able to live as a result of the military?
We lived in San Diego, CA for the first 6 years of our marriage. Then we came here to Virginia for Eric's shore duty, where we've been living for the past 2 1/2 years. There are things I've liked and disliked about both places.

13. If you had a day all to yourself, go anywhere, do anything, what would you do and why?
This has been the toughest question to answer out of all of them. There are so many possibilities. When I have time to myself I like to have peace and quiet. So, in this case, I would probably go to one of my favorite places.....go to a Barnes and Nobles and get a drink and a danish and sit and read for a while, then I would go to Old Town Fredericksburg and walk around the town going in and out of antique malls and antique stores which I love to do, have lunch at a coffee house, then see a movie by myself ( I did it once and I loved it!) and get take out dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and come home and eat in the quiet. Light a few candles, maybe read a little or listen to some music. Sounds like a dream just reading it. This would be a great day for me :)


14. What is your favorite and least favorite thing about being a military family or military wife?
My least favorite thing is definitely having to pick up your family and move around so often. I have yet to do this with children, and I am not looking forward to that. 
My favorite thing is the fact that our life means something. Our family sacrifices for our country and it matters. We are making a small contribution to our country's freedoms....even my daughter and I. I am proud of my husband and proud to be a part of the military community. 

15. Where was your favorite assignment/duty station?
Definitely here in Virginia. I did not enjoy living so far away from family and friends in California. I love to visit there, but not to live there.

16. If you could take one thing back that you have done/said in your life so far, what would it be?
I would take back the few mean things I said to my mom when I was a clueless teenager.
I answered this part of the question on a previous question, I wouldn't have done so much physically with boyfriends before marriage. 

17. What is the best thing about being a military wife?
Being married to an honorable military man and being his support so he can do his job the best he can. See question #14.

18. If your husband could be assigned anywhere, where would you want to live?
I don't know, I'm not very adventurous. I don't like living far away from family and friends and being so isolated, it is very lonely. So, maybe the Carolina's...as long as it's someplace that still has seasons. We lived in California, and it was beautiful with perfect weather, but Christmas without snow just isn't for me.

19. Do you have any dreams for the future?
I want my family to be happy. Doesn't matter how much money I have, but that I made the most of my life. I want to challenge myself and be the best person I can be. I don't want to just be planning and working towards the future and end up missing out on enjoying the journey. I want my 30's to be better than my 20's, my 40's better than my 30's and so on. I want to show my daughter the world and fill her life with opportunities and experiences. 

20. Do you have to move often as a Navy wife?
An average military family moves every couple of years. We have moved seven times in my husband's military career. Together, we have lived in California and Virginia, but he has gone on three 10-month deployments and each one I have gone back to New York to live with family. On the upside, every time we move, each new home has been nicer and in a better area than the previous one. New places mean fresh starts, new opportunities and new experiences.              

What a Military Spouse Means to Me

I discovered a contest on another blog...Married to a Sailor. As a military spouse, I wanted to take part in it....to write a post about what a military spouse means to me. Check out her page to learn more. Here is my entry...

  What a Military Spouse Means to Me

A military spouse is a person made up of many layers. I will refer to the spouse as "she" in this post, though I understand that the military spouses that are the men are of no less value. When I think of military spouse...this is what I think of....

She is a woman of flexibility. 

She is able to adapt to change at a moment's notice. She doesn't ask questions because she knows most likely she won't get many answers. She leaves her familiar surroundings which include family and friends and starts over in a new place; knowing that in a few years she will repeat this process all over again. She knows that in the military, time is always changing. When her husband  is sent out for a few days, that can quickly become a few weeks and it's never given a second thought...it becomes the norm.

She is a woman of strength and endurance.

When her husband is sent out to protect our freedoms that we take for granted, she is keeping things running smoothly until he returns. Going to bed and waking up alone and finding strength deep inside when she feels her energy source has run dry. She feels worn out and on the brink of tears and she forces a brave smile and focuses on whatever it takes to keep going.

She is a woman of comfort.

She is a place of security and creates a safe place for her spouse to come home to. A place of calm and warmth to escape from the stresses that accompanies his job.

She is a woman of trust.

Her husband can focus on his job and have confidence that everything is running smoothly and taken care of while he is away.

She is a woman of faithfulness.

Her husband knows that he has a good woman to come home to. Someone who isn't going to leave when times get tough, because they will. 

She is a woman of sensitivity and understanding.

She knows that his job requires him to keep things secret from her. She knows that he knows things or maybe has seen things that are hard for him to live with and sometimes needs his space to deal with them his own way. She knows how to read him and knows when to give him this space. The military doesn't ask; it tells.

She is a woman of sacrifice.

The military takes charge of her life and makes the decisions and she accepts that. She puts her wants and desires on the back burner and does whatever it takes to make the best of the situations she is given. She tries not to complain so her husband never feels his job is robbing her of a better life.

She is a woman of foundation.

She is supportive of her husband and he knows she is in his corner to uplift him and encourage him when the waters get rough. She is his partner; they are a team. He knows that she will back up the decisions he makes, because he knows things she doesn't.

Finally, she is a woman of faith.

This is different from faithfulness. She trusts in God to take care of her husband when he is sent away and loses all control from there. She knows that every time his job sends him away, there is a chance he will not return. It takes all the strength she has not to focus on this and the life she may have to live without her other half. This knowledge gives her more appreciation for the times they have together.

There is unity among military spouses and a respect that comes with the title. There is common ground and understanding between us. We know our husbands are our heroes. They don't have it easy, but they are brave to volunteer their lives for our country. They are brave and putting their life on the line, yet to them it's "just another day". They sacrifice so much for so many people, and through them, so do their spouses. Through that sacrifice brings humility and pride and gives our lives that much more meaning and depth. 

So, after almost nine years of being a military spouse, would I choose to be one if I knew then what I know now? Absolutely! I am the supportive foundation behind my husband so that he can be focused when he's in battle. The job of a military spouse is just as important and should be just as respected.