Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The battle with laziness

I think I am a lazy person. It's the thing about me I have come to loathe. Now, I am a stay at home mom, so that in and of itself is a big job, and I handle the things that come with the job, but in my opinion, I do the bare minimum. I am my toughest critic, and I want to do more and do better. If perfection is unattainable, then there is always room for improvement. It is my own fault for being lazy. I think I base far too much on my emotions and how I feel at the time. I am lazy because I don't feel like doing things...plain and simple. I need to make the choice to take care of my responsibilities, whether I feel like it or not. I have been blessed with so much, and I need to take care of those blessings to the best of my husband, daughter, home, and even myself. I need to learn to include myself on the priority list, because if I don't take care of me, I can't take care of my family or my home unless my mind and my heart are in the right place. I need to find the proper balance. I can't spend all my time doing chores and cleaning because I neglect the most important people in my life and I end up feeling like a maid. I can't spend all my time on the people I love because the laundry piles up and the house becomes a chaotic mess. I need to put the Lord back in His rightful place at the top of my list, because He is the reason I have all these blessings. He is the ultimate navigator when I've lost my way, and man am I lost. He is whispering to me to come back to Him and I cover my ears and reply with a "later", and it has led me to unhappiness and loneliness and feelings of emptiness. Why don't I pray and read my Bible, even though I know I will be refreshed and my perspective will be re-aligned? Simple....because I don't feel like it. I need to make the choice to do the right thing, even when I don't feel like it, because the root of laziness is selfishness. It makes me feel good for this moment to sit and watch TV or read a magazine, rather than read my Bible or play with my daughter, or empty the dishwasher. Instead, I need to choose my daughter, because she will be off to school in a few years and all this free time with her will be a memory that I didn't fully utilize. I need to take care of the house, maybe put on some favorite music to make it more fun so it's not so boring. I need to force myself to get up a bit earlier in the day to pray and read to start my day off with the right focus and attitude. I need to make myself take care of my health by remembering to take necessary vitamins and eating and drinking properly to give me the energy to keep up throughout the day. It's all about choice. Choose to be lazy or choose not to be.