Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!
Eric and I don't make a big deal about Valentine's Day. We don't get lavish gifts for each other usually or anything like that. Most of the time it's a simple card and I'll make a nice dinner for us. It is a nice reminder though that it's important to show our love towards our significant other in special ways once in a while. It doesn't have to be the pressure of Valentine's Day, but after many years of marriage and when children enter and remain in the scene, romance takes a backseat. This year I decided to step it up a little bit. I am getting myself all dolled up...nice outfit (maybe a dress), makeup, curl the hair, the whole works. He has to go to work at 4pm so when Becca takes her nap at 2pm I will make us dinner (chicken parmesan) and set the table nice with candles and romantic music. Maybe dancing in our dining room? It's not much, but it's what I am able to do right now. I'm hoping it's enough to show him what he means to me. It's all about making an effort in the little things. Wish me luck. I hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day reminding your special someone how much they mean to you.

Instead of a card I wrote him this poem:

You keep my feet on solid ground,
You are the rock that I have found.
You see past my surface pride,
And find the real me that hides inside.
You make me laugh, can make make smile,
Please come and stay with me awhile.
Wrap your arms around me tight,
And tell me everything’s all right.
You make my frown turn upside-down,
Though I have tried, from you I cannot hide.
Your faith in me makes me believe,
I can be all that I have dreamed.
You guide me safely to that place,
That I am able to escape…
All the bad that’s in my life,
I am so proud to be your wife.
You accept me flaws and all,
Baby, of you I am in awe.
You lead me when I can’t see,
And then I start to believe…
That I can stand tall, don’t have to fall,
I can be the real me after all.
You make me whole, restore my soul,
You make me shine, so glad you’re mine.

Will you be my Valentine?

Love Always and Forever,

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Few Hours to Myself

I’ve really missed blogging and would like to find my way back into it. I took a break for a couple months  from both writing and reading blogs. For some reason I just wanted to be by myself. A lot of times when I get stressed and overwhelmed I shut down and hide in my own little corner of the world. I also have this insecurity about my writing in that I feel I don’t have anything important to say. But on the other hand, am I writing for my readers or for myself? Anyway, during this time off from blogging I didn’t really want to talk to anyone or talk about anything. I wanted to escape. Truth is I really don’t have a clue what I want. Like today, Becca was being really loud and I’m always wishing for some quiet time to myself. So, Eric was home and he offered to take her into town because he had to go to a specific store. I was looking forward to a quiet couple of hours to myself. So, I packed up some stuff for him to bring with him, kissed them goodbye and closed the door. As I watched her walk away from me in her daddy’s arms with her tiny arms wrapped around his neck, a mix of emotions suddenly overcame me. The house to myself! To do whatever I wanted. Yet there was an immediate feeling of emptiness. I plopped down on our uncomfortable couch to decide what to do with my time. It took all of three minutes to miss Rebecca. Well, I’ll just use this time to catch up on my TV shows I recorded. So, I watched them but felt very unsettled and not calm. Wondering in the back of my mind if they were alright. Said a prayer that they would be safe out there and not get into an accident. Not sure why that popped into my mind. I got nothing done except free up some space on my DVR. Then I hear the faint sound of a car door shut. Could that be them? Are they home? Hooray! At last! They came through the door and I felt relieved. I swoop up my little girl and shower her with hugs and kisses.  Be careful what you wish for. My time alone wasn’t what I imagined it would be. It was oddly unsettling. Maybe I like the security of the routine and mundane day I know to expect. It is safe and familiar and I am in control of all things involving my daughter. I guess I really don’t want the house all to myself. Or maybe it was just an off day. I guess I underestimate how connected I am with my daughter. She really does light up my world. Frustration and all.