I don't know that this post is about anything. I just really felt like writing. Something. Anything. This urge is a common and regular one in my life. The problem is not always knowing what to write about. It's a release for me. A calm. A stillness. An escape from the routines and happenings of daily life. I want to immerse myself in the waters of the written word. To dive in for the exercise and refreshment. For cool relief from the heat that surrounds me. To come out feeling relieved and recharged. I used to write as a personal release. To vent deep emotions that I didn't want to say aloud. I always felt I could express myself better through writing. There seemed to be a break in connection on the path from what I was wanting to say to what actually exited my mouth. I've always felt that way. That's why I tend to say less. I actually pause before I speak to concentrate on what I want to say. Not the smoothest transition. Anyway, so I used to write to journal my thoughts. Maybe something that I was thinking about that I just wanted to express. Most times it was about an emotion I was feeling. I still write about those things mainly, but I am currently feeling a desire to write outside of my comfort zone and outside of what I know. To write about things that are outside of myself. To challenge myself and improve what I consider to be my craft. To get to be really good at something in life, it involves practice. To dedicate time and effort to refine something good into something greater. The thought of me being a great writer one day gives me great pleasure. Now if I can get out of my own way and try to overcome the fear of not being good enough, I can move forward on that desired path. The thought of something that I write being released into the world for others to see. I would hope that the end result would make a small impact on another person. Maybe something that I write will improve someone else's day. Or that my words give someone pause to think and reflect on. I want my writing to matter. I've always loved words. English was my favorite subject in school. So many journeys that a string of words can take you on. Can unleash every emotion. Choosing certain words to put together can mean most powerful things. When I was a kid I had a love of books. I took them everywhere. Reading in the grocery cart in the supermarket, in the backseat of the car on road trips, anywhere and everywhere. As a teenager I would read the teenage chapter books about the dramas of school and other people's take on life as a teenager. Seemed like a different era. And the love of words and reading are still there today. The impact that words have in music. I love lyrics to music. Pairing a melody to bring words to life and stir up an emotion within. It's all magical to me. So powerful. I want to be a part of that and the idea that I could someday be paired into the same grouping of great writers is a dream, but in my mind a farfetched one. The writers that inspire me, both in the written word as well as the music world are in a different class. I look up to them and strive to learn from them. I hope that someday I will be a great writer. Not for fame or recognition. But for my words to have an impact in the lives of others, the way the great writers have on us. For my words to stir up emotion in others. To make a difference. To inspire.
