Saturday, April 9, 2011
Being an Adult
What exactly makes an adult anyway? It's only partially age until you reach a certain number I suppose. Is it maturity? Attitude? Responsibility? Choices? I know people older than me who seem like less of an adult,even childish; yet I know people younger than me that seem like more of an adult than me, with even more wisdom. It's during the lowest times that our true self is revealed. Our natural response surfaces with our true feelings, not just what you want other people to see. Our walls go up to protect from vulnerability, hiding what is raw within. Maybe it's putting other people before yourself. Making the right decision, even when it's hard to do and involves sacrifice on your part. Isn't it sad that many times terrible trauma that happens to children force them to grow up too soon? But what makes them more grown up then us? That they had to face adult issues way too soon? Most definitely. I am 28 years old and don't feel completely like an adult. I think there is so much expectation as an adult. Get married, have kids, possibly have a career. It's like the checklist of your life. I have compared my life with the lives of my friends around me for so long, I feel I've lost a bit of myself. My life shouldn't be like everyone else's, and it isn't, but I need to celebrate my individuality more, what makes me stand out from everyone else. Maybe I'm too much of an adult, taking care of my responsibilities and trying to be the perfect stay at home mother and wife, but I'm not having any fun along the way. The fun is supposed to be in the journey, right? I just might be too focused on getting to the end result I'm not enjoying myself. Maybe part of being an adult is finding the right balance in life, and the right perspective and attitude as well. I put more pressure on myself than anyone else. Make sure the house looks perfect, that there is always a good meal to eat, that my husband and child's needs are met. My list in life doesn't even include myself, and I am now realizing how wrong that is. I need to give myself permission to take time for myself and make sure some of my needs are met too, and I'm now realizing that isn't a selfish thing. Jesus tells us in His Word to put ourselves last and others first, and it's true....but that doesn't mean I neglect myself...that's the difference. Maybe maturity is also looking at the bigger picture in the long run. Choosing to have a positive attitude. Doing the right thing when you really don't want to do it. Maybe I'm too focused on being an adult, I feel old and boring. I want to get back to enjoying each day, not just what I need to do to get through it. Do I want my daughter to look back at her childhood and remember me as being boring and not wanting to do anything? All I do is clean and cook? That's not what I want. That's not how I want to be. Here's the funny part....I have the power to change that...I just have to choose to.