Tuesday, January 1, 2013

365 Posts for 2013

Well, hello everybody. It's been a long time I see. I didn't realize just how long it has been until just now when I saw the date of my last post. And what a year not to post. Let's just say I had a lot to write about. I just never did. Nevertheless, it's a new year and I want to take writing to another level. Those of you who regularly read my posts and those of you who know me personally, know by now that my dream is to be a writer. The extent of what kind, is yet to be determined. However, it is clear to me that it's what I'm meant to do. So, here I am at 6:30am, on the first day of the new year. I've decided to start back up again on my blog with a challenge to myself. I am going to write a post every single day this year, whether I feel like it or not. I've read many, many books on writing and how to be a successful writer. Every single one of them state strongly that in order to be a good writer, you must write constantly. I've actually been asked by many friends why I stopped posting on my blog and if I still write. The answer is yes, I still write. Not as much as I should or would like to. I stopped posting on my blog because most of the things I write about are very, very personal. My writing is vulnerable and I write about a lot of stuff  most people in my life do not know about. Why not share it? Well, in the past, fear of judgment and giving people close up access to deep, dark places in my life. But isn't that what all good writing is about anyway? For the writer, it's about unleashing inner emotions and thoughts. For the reader, it's about a connection to something beyond the page; beyond the words of the subject matter. I can't be 80 years old and still be saying I want to be a writer. There must be progress. So, this is me taking a step forward. Sharing with you my upcoming year. I know you missed last year, but this year couldn't possibly be worse. In fact, I would like to start the new year off right, in saying that this year I plan to take steps toward healing, and moving on from the past. Not forgetting it, or the mistakes and hurt and pain that came with it, but to no longer allow it to hold power over the present. I want this year to be a year of change for me, from the inside out. As a person, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, as a child of God, and all of the other roles that I have. I will share with you that my biggest weakness is also my most hated trait about myself. It has been the Achilles heel of my life. Lack of follow-through. It stems from laziness. Great ideas that lead to nowhere. A decision that is never carried out. To put something off until the next day, week, or month. This year I want to make a conscious effort to work on that. To become more productive. Despite however I may appear, like most people, I am very hard on myself. To the point where, for an entire year, I did not look in a mirror because I hated what I saw so much. I've come far from that point to a place of acceptance. To have peace within myself. Believe me, it has taken many years to get to this point, and it was a path of self-hatred and self-destruction. Words I live by; they are my own: if perfection doesn't exist and is unattainable, there is always room for improvement. I will never be perfect, but that means I can strive to better myself and grow and improve on weak areas in my life. I've also learned to find what few strengths I have, and maximize and extend them towards other avenues in life.
So, anyway, I am re-opening my blog this year. I hope you come on this journey with me. I am nervous to let you inside my thoughts, but risks can bring forth great rewards, right?
I'm going to end each post with a concluding message to you, my readers.
Today's is: Happy New Year to you. Some people make resolutions for the new year or goals to work on. Tell me one of yours. If you are not one to make resolutions, I would ask you to simply think to yourself how you would like either yourself or your life to be different from this time next year. Life is short. As we've read in headlines the past few months, there is a lot of negative in the world. It's time to embrace the good and strive to better ourselves. After all, that is all we can be accountable for, nobody else.

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