-Joseph Campbell
I came across this quote in a book I'm reading, and it made me pause and think for a moment. When I was young I kind of mapped out how my life was going to end up. Not thinking of details, but I figured I'd get married and have kids and live a happy life. I mean, that's what happily ever after is all about, right? So, I finally got my prince charming and my beautiful daughter...does that mean this is it? My whole life has reached its end result at age 28? Do I spend the rest of my life just coasting through life? I am a very shy person and tend to keep to myself. But, looking back, some of the most wonderful and memorable moments in my life were brought on by challenging myself and stepping outside of my comfort zone. I tend to be a homebody and I stick to my comfortable circle of friends. This is playing it safe. Never trying anything new or going somewhere new. I make up excuses. I stay with what's familiar to me; what I know. But, there's a flip side to this. What am I missing out on? A new friendship...a new favorite restaurant...a new hobby...a new memory or experience? I feel I've gotten into a rut and have gotten too comfortable in this rut. I want to be able to step outside of my familiar and take a risk here or there. How do you guys feel about this? Do you still take risks and challenge yourself or you stuck in your routine as well? I know marriage and parenting bring new responsibilities to our lives, but that doesn't mean it has to be it right? I've decided it's not the end for me. There is more to me that just wife and mother and I'm exploring what that might be. I have interests and dreams that have been pushed aside and I'm ready to re-discover them. But, sometimes I wonder....how come being a wife and mother isn't enough for me? Many women dream of being a stay at home mom....not have to work...for their husbands to make enough where they can be home every day with their kids. And I do love that luxury....being there for every moment of my daughter's beginning years...never missing a thing. But I do miss working, and being a contributor to society. Interacting with the outside world and giving back in some small way. I feel I am isolated and cut off in many way and that can be very lonely. I just wondered what you guys thought about this. Leave me your opinion :)
I would say my life has been a mixture of both. Growing up I played it safe. Mostly in part due to my parents. I was given rules and goals. I followed them and achieved what I needed to. But then I hit my rebellious age (rather late I might add) during college and post. That part of my life was definitely all about risk taking. I loved every minute of it!!! And I was loved FOR it. Then I found my prince charming and grew an insta-family. Long were the days of chaos and throwing caution to the wind. As mothers, something in us changes. We have a need to protect, thus we become women of habit and routine. Not for us, for them. But deep down inside lurks the risk taker in us all dying to get out
ReplyDeleteI understand. I feel like a few years ago I used to be a crazy spur of the moment chick. Now I barely leave the house, get out of my jammas, or do anything remotely interesting. Come to think of it...How in the crap do I write a blog? lol
ReplyDeleteI am hoping this is just a stage for me! Caden starts school this year!
Hi Laina - I think it is good you are having these thoughts. For me right now being SAHM is just fine, but I had so many years to go and do all that I thought I wanted to in life. I think it is perfectly natural if you have children at a young age to wonder what will come next and by the way I am wondering the same thing too and know that once my daughter starts school two years from now I need to have a plan, things I am going to do as I don't want to be stuck at home all day.
ReplyDeleteI know this post is old, but I feel the exact same way! Which is kinda what I wrote in my post today. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard...this balance of being a mother, a wife and then wondering if you want to do more, be more, see more. I totally get it.
You are an amazing writer and I've loved looking back at your old posts. I've really resonated with every single one of them and I read something and think, 'She sounds JUST like me!!' True story. So thank you. That might sound odd, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. Even if we don't know each other. ;)