Hello out there,
I have been out of the loop, I know. There is so much going on, it's like a daily whirlwind that is leaving me exhausted at the end of each night. What's so exhausting? Life. hahaha. I really don't have it that hard, I just don't think I'm very tough. So, my latest news is wrestling with a decision I am having to make regarding my daughter, and it is not an easy one. I have decided to put her into daycare part time. Just looking at those words and the thought of handing her over to people I don't know is like gut-wrenching. It's like being punched in the stomach. I am a stay at home mother and I chose to be that so I wouldn't have to make this decision. So why am I? Because I need to put my daughter's needs first. She is restless, un-focused, and needs socialization and interaction with other kids her own age. She is afraid of every adult besides her parents and her grandmother. For the past year she has been behind on her social skills and some developmental areas because of it. I truly think this is the right thing for her. I try my best to take her to the playground, and walks, and do activities with her, but she is still restless. She needs structure and things that will challenge her to grow. It has been so emotional wrestling with this decision. My husband and both of our parents have thought this was the best thing for her as well as her doctor for some time now, I just wasn't ready for my first experience of "letting go" to be this early. Now, we are only looking at part-time so it would only be like 2 days a week. I would still have her home most of the time, but somehow it doesn't help the way I feel. It's all part of the parenting process I suppose. I did throw myself a pity party. Accusing myself of not being enough for her, not doing a good enough job as her mother to provide all of her needs. I just want her to have the best there is and I want her to be healthy and happy. The idea of bringing her to a strange place with people we don't know....I don't want to frighten her or for her to think I won't be coming back. But at the same time, she is so dependent on me it is bordering on an unhealthy level, and it's important for her to learn to do some things on her own. But still, she's only two. May be officially a toddler, but to me, she is my precious baby girl. My joy. My angel. The light that brightens up the room when she smiles. So, today I have an appointment to tour a daycare center. I found four that I approved of based on online reviews and researching their websites. It would be so kind if any of you could mention me in your prayers just once if you remember. Please pray for wisdom to make the right decision for my daughter and to find a place that is trustworthy and will meet her needs and best interests. Thanks for listening :)
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I am very proud of you :) And I am sure she will be just fine :)
ReplyDeleteAlaina, you are a precious and wonderful mother. May God guide you and give you wisdom to find the right place for my precious niece. May He bless her time interacting with others and may you see the fruit of it early on to ease your apprehensions! I love you both so much and am proud of you for your strength and honesty.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing the right thing, she needs structure and exposure to other kiddos around her age! This will help her more than you know
ReplyDelete*hug*
Oh Alaina, I'm sorry you have to go through this tough decision! I don't know how what you are going through but I can only imagine how hard it must for you. If it means anything, I think you are doing the right thing for your Becca. I host daycare at my home and I think it has made a huge difference for my kids...actually I know it! Maybe you could even look into watching kids at your home too? You could probably try craigslist or care.com...just some other ideas. Good luck to you and I'll be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLaina as your daughter is too she is old enough for preschool - my daughter's school like most where we live is for children aged two and up. Some parents wait another year but most start at 2. I put my daughter aged 2 1/2 into her preschool last fall for one reason only, because she is an only child and yes, play dates and classes are sociable events but it is not the same as learning to be away from your parent and making friends for yourself. I have an ECI therapist friend whose best advice to me was to start preschool early and she was right, it has made such a difference to our daughter, to her confidence and social skills, and going back to school has been a breeze. So do not feel guilty, your daughter is ready for some time away from you. Why I mention preschool is because many of them have short hours, my daughter goes from 8:30am to 11:00am three mornings a week which is not time enough for me to do much but is plenty long enough for her.
ReplyDeletePraying for a smooth transition for you. Have you considered a preschool? My daughter turned two and is starting next week and will be going Tuesday and Thursday from 9:30 to 1 but she could go every day if I wanted to pay for it. It has great structure, i.e. the kids are on a schedule that rotates but is the same each day so there is predictability and fun! We actually did this last year too when she was just 15 months and she loved it. I am sahm too with only one child and have a hard time keeping her engaged socially outside of outlets like this. Not sure where you are located but if you are in Virginia then I have some good resources I can pass along. :) Once again praying...
ReplyDeleteLots of prayers going your way, when my son was that age I started doing a weekly playgroup so that he had interaction with children his own age. I think any possibility of a learning experience is a good one.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that I sent an email your way about schools to the address you gave me. :)
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