Monday, May 10, 2010

What a Military Spouse Means to Me

I discovered a contest on another blog...Married to a Sailor. As a military spouse, I wanted to take part in write a post about what a military spouse means to me. Check out her page to learn more. Here is my entry...
  What a Military Spouse Means to Me
A military spouse is a person made up of many layers. I will refer to the spouse as "she" in this post, though I understand that the military spouses that are the men are of no less value. When I think of military spouse...this is what I think of....
She is a woman of flexibility
She is able to adapt to change at a moment's notice. She doesn't ask questions because she knows most likely she won't get many answers. She leaves her familiar surroundings which include family and friends and starts over in a new place; knowing that in a few years she will repeat this process all over again. She knows that in the military, time is always changing. When her husband  is sent out for a few days, that can quickly become a few weeks and it's never given a second becomes the norm.
She is a woman of strength and endurance.
When her husband is sent out to protect our freedoms that we take for granted, she is keeping things running smoothly until he returns. Going to bed and waking up alone and finding strength deep inside when she feels her energy source has run dry. She feels worn out and on the brink of tears and she forces a brave smile and focuses on whatever it takes to keep going.
She is a woman of comfort.
She is a place of security and creates a safe place for her spouse to come home to. A place of calm and warmth to escape from the stresses that accompanies his job.
She is a woman of trust.
Her husband can focus on his job and have confidence that everything is running smoothly and taken care of while he is away.
She is a woman of faithfulness.
Her husband knows that he has a good woman to come home to. Someone who isn't going to leave when times get tough, because they will. 
She is a woman of sensitivity and understanding.
She knows that his job requires him to keep things secret from her. She knows that he knows things or maybe has seen things that are hard for him to live with and sometimes needs his space to deal with them his own way. She knows how to read him and knows when to give him this space. The military doesn't ask; it tells.
She is a woman of sacrifice.
The military takes charge of her life and makes the decisions and she accepts that. She puts her wants and desires on the back burner and does whatever it takes to make the best of the situations she is given. She tries not to complain so her husband never feels his job is robbing her of a better life.
She is a woman of foundation.
She is supportive of her husband and he knows she is in his corner to uplift him and encourage him when the waters get rough. She is his partner; they are a team. He knows that she will back up the decisions he makes, because he knows things she doesn't.
Finally, she is a woman of faith.
This is different from faithfulness. She trusts in God to take care of her husband when he is sent away and loses all control from there. She knows that every time his job sends him away, there is a chance he will not return. It takes all the strength she has not to focus on this and the life she may have to live without her other half. This knowledge gives her more appreciation for the times they have together.

There is unity among military spouses and a respect that comes with the title. There is common ground and understanding between us. We know our husbands are our heroes. They don't have it easy, but they are brave to volunteer their lives for our country. They are brave and putting their life on the line, yet to them it's "just another day". They sacrifice so much for so many people, and through them, so do their spouses. Through that sacrifice brings humility and pride and gives our lives that much more meaning and depth. 
So, after almost nine years of being a military spouse, would I choose to be one if I knew then what I know now? Absolutely! I am the supportive foundation behind my husband so that he can be focused when he's in battle. The job of a military spouse is just as important and should be just as respected. 


  1. I just couldn't imagine being a military wife - with what you all go through. You have my utmost respect and admiration.

  2. The journey we have been on together for the past 9 years has not been easy. I can't imagine having gone through it with anyone other than you. Your support and devotion to me and now our family has been so wonderful. You are truly a wonderful wife, person mother and friend. Thank you.

  3. You are an amazing person, and I just read what your husband wrote to guys are very lucky to have each other!

  4. As a daughter of a military man....I know the lifestyle and how rough it can be. Watching my mom go through the struggles with my dad was very awe inspiring. Great post!!

  5. I love the concept, and style of your blog. You're a wonderful writer and a beautiful women! Keep blogging :)

  6. Laina...once again you have me captivated in your words. Living the life of a military wife has certainly confronted you with challenges and as the years come and go, I have watched you mature and grow both as an individual and as a wife and now as a mother. Yes, Eric is blessed to have you as his partner in life and you are equally blessed to have him. As a mom, it is so comforting to know my daughter is loved, happy and secure in her life and also that she is making someone else's life just as happy. I love you tremendously. I have the utmost respect for both of you. Thanks again, for opening up your heart and letting us in.
    I love you my angel..xoxoxoxo mom

  7. The admiration that you deserve whole fully is incredible. My ex-husband is a firefighter and I bit every single one of my fingernails until he got home. I could never imagine being like that for long periods of time. You definitely have strength, courage and every single aspect that you've listed.

    Following per Tag Along Tuesday.

  8. Great post - but I think you left something out here, you forgot to mention that she is also a truly amazing woman.

  9. That was AMAZING!!! I believe you hit it head on girl! What a beautiful "defination" of what a military spouse is! I loves that "faith" part, I do trust the soldiers that are around my husband during his an certain extent...but all of my faith that he is coming home to me and Lily is in God. This was just amazing!!

  10. Found your blog via the contest and loved your post!

  11. Love how you broke it down and defined it. A little different than most of the ladies who participated did. Very well written, and I agree with you so much!

  12. This was just beautiful! I give military spouses SO SO SO much credit!

  13. Please come to my blog. I have goodies for you!

  14. You are an amazing woman!!! Thank you for your sacrifices! Follow me back at

  15. Laina,
    For awards, I usually post on my blog along the side ( to display). I click on the image of the award and then save as a jpeg. If you are using blogger, you can just click customize, then on the side, click gadget and then click picture and upload from your computer. To share the awards, I copy and paste the entire award given to me and put into my post and just edit to fit your needs ( who you are giving it to and etc). I am sure you k now how to add links but if you don't here it is; I will say for example:Laina @ then click add a link under compose post, then add the web address which will add the web address, then where it says what will be visible the text ( something like that) I type the name of the blog. Hope that helps. I've been on here for a year, bit only posting consistently for about 6 months..I too am learning as I go. You are doing great!

  16. Thanks so much Truthful Mommy! You helped me a great deal. I'm gonna give it a try :) Thanks again for the awards! I'm so honored and excited about it!

  17. This is truly a wonderful post - thank you for your insight on being a military spouse.

  18. I dont know how you do it. I give you so much credit. The hubs in almost never home until the kids are in bed and I go crazy sometimes. It takes a special woman to do what you do.Your whole family is extremely lucky.

  19. Great post Laina, very well said :)

  20. awhhhh - thank you so much for my award - Hope you have a very happy friday and great weekend :)

  21. HI. I found your blog through Traci and Ordinary Inspirations Blog Button party. I love this post. My cousin was an officer in the Navy (as well as other members over the years) and we've always supported not only the brave men and women of the military but their families as well. Blessings to you and yours.

  22. And she is more devoted than I could be. Bravo to all military wives! What's that saying?? Behind every great man stand an even greater woman or something like that??

    I had to check you out when I saw your comment on another little girl's name is Laina and I have never met another one!! Nice to meet you!!

  23. I love this post! My Dad was in the Air Force for 21 years and did two tours in Vietnam. My sister is a Colonel in the Air Force. I don't think that people that are not in the military actually realize the great sacrifice that military families make. After I became a wife and mother I realized the great strength and faith my mother had. It was difficult as a child to watch my father go and wonder if he would ever come back. I have such great respect and admiration for our men and women in the military who stand in the gap for us.

    Thank you for visiting my blog. I think you would really enjoy the Beth Moore book, So Long Insecurity. It is life changing. I was so ready to become a secure woman in Christ.

    I am looking forward to getting to know you through your blog.



  24. What a fantastic entry for Christina's contest. YOu really captured what we mil spouses go through. And yes, our job is so important! I'm so glad we have the support from each other. Great post!

  25. Hi there.
    I am thoroughly impressed with your beautiful words.
    I am not a military wife, but I have become more and more sensitive to your daily trials and tribulations, as I recently came on board to serve as the chapter president for Operation Homefront's NY/NJ chapter and work with military families daily.
    . If you haven't heard of us (which I'm starting to find a lot of service members and their families do not know about us) you should.
    Our mission is to provide emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors.
    Since I came on board, I fond the biggest challenge is that we have a very small staff of three (two of which are military wives) and we cannot spread the word about our organization, our chapter and our mission as much as we wan to.
    I would be delighted if you and the rest of the military spouses out there in cyberspace could help spread the word, so our current service members and their families know we are here to help.
    This is our website:
    I thank you in advance for your help and thank all of you for the sacrifices you make as military families. Your contributions should not go overlooked.
    Alison La Ferlita
    Chapter President
    Operation Homefront-NY/NJ, Inc.