NY Trip - Day 2 - Preparations for the party

Terrible day yesterday, followed by a terrible night of non-sleep. Went to bed at 11:30pm and didn't sleep well at all. The room I'm staying in has hardwood floors so I kept hearing Max's nails tapping the floor and his chain collar against the floor every time he laid down. (Why I didn't just take the collar off of him is beyond me). But Max slept the entire 13 hour drive in the car, which is why he was awake all night walking around the room, sniffing all the new smells. Then I heard his tongue lapping while he gave himself a bath...very distracting. Becca was up at 5am. I brought her into bed with me and when she started nodding off I put her back in the pack n' play and I left the room so she could get some more sleep. Later that morning Becca and I went to my MIL's (mother-in-law's) house to get ready for tomorrow's party. We chopped onions and tomatoes and, for the most part, visited and talked about plans for tomorrow. Becca and I went back to my mom's for dinner and later that night my aunt and uncle came over to visit. They were unable to come to the party tomorrow so they came tonight to see us. It was a real nice visit and I was happy they made time for us. Every time I come to NY I always go to bed much later. My mom's a night owl. I'm used to going to bed around 10pm at home, but when visiting in NY it's usually closer to midnight. That's okay though, I try to visit and spend time with family as much as possible. That's what vacations are all about right?

NY Trip - Day 1 - A Long Drive

Okay, time to rewind and finally tell you about my trip. I will spend the next week filling you in on each day of my trip...so today we begin at Day 1. Are you wondering how I did my first time traveling with Max and Becca minus Eric? I would give myself a big, fat F. I failed miserably. The trip started out as one of the worst traveling days in my life.  Failure #1- I had to leave late because I didn't know how to put air in my tires so I waited for Eric to come home to do it.  Failure #2- Eric gave me the easiest route that I couldn't even follow. I left at 7am and 10:30am I realized I was 45 minutes from my house in the opposite direction I started from. Now, imagine one of the worst places to be lost...well I was in the equivalent of wherever you're thinking. I was shaking and nervous and immediately realized I just added 3 1/2 hours to an 8 hour trip. I called Eric in tears who rescued me with a new route and I made it out of there. I stopped for lunch, which took an hour. We sat outside in close to 100 degree weather because I was afraid to leave the dog in the car if we went inside. Fed and walked Max. Becca is beet red and not drinking or eating well, which leads me to think I am not taking care of her well. Failure #3- My poor daughter had to sit confined in her car seat for 5 extra hours because of my mistake. I took a wrong turn which tacked on a lot of extra time. Not to mention all the construction the whole way which took me on two detours, which added even more time. Failure #4- I asked for a simple route, knowing it would take longer, with an energetic two year old. I should've known better and just took the quickest route. This back-road route put me on 40mph roads behind slow trucks and lots of lights...not helping the situation. I cried several times in the car all the while feeling as if steam was coming out of my ears I was so mad at myself for putting us in this situation. Finally I got to my mom's house. It took me 13 hours which normally only takes 8. I was exhausted, but why? All I did was sit in a car all day. But the emotional and mental bruises from beating myself up in my head took its toll. My mom took Becca in her pool and entertained her while I unpacked. My energy was depleted. I was so weak and felt my legs and feet were as heavy as rocks. I had been up since 5am and didn't have nearly enough to eat and drink...I was so concerned about Becca and Max and taking care of them I forgot about myself. My cousin surprised me by stopping over after work. It was so great to see her and visit with her. Definitely the best part of my day. We watched the movie Grease together and just chatted. It meant so much to me that she took the time to come see me. Every time I come into town she tries to see me as much as possible....unlike some people...anyway...I was so glad to get to bed so I can end this stressful day and begin a fresh new one.

Happy Birthday Becca

My beautiful baby girl turns 2 years old today. She has graduated to toddler hood, but she's still my baby, I don't care what anybody says. I can't imagine my life without her. She brings so much joy to my life and she just lights up my little corner of the world. I never thought I would be so lucky to have a daughter. I always assumed I would have kids when I got older, but when I married a man who has all boys in his family, I assumed I would only have boys as well. But, in my heart I always wanted a girl. The day we found out she was a girl we were stunned. There was silence in the room for a few minutes and it continued for a short period of time because we were so surprised. But that surprise turned into excitement after the shock wore off. It's been fun dressing her in frilly, girly clothes and brushing her curly blond hair. Her sparkling blue eyes are captivating, her nose is as cute as a button, and her smile warms the chilliest day. Though entering toddler hood is challenging and stressful at times, it is also a fun, new experience. She is becoming more interactive and talking with more words; and it thrills me as she learns the basics....her ABC's, animal names and sounds, counting numbers, etc. She is playful and energetic, yet sensitive and loving. She is a perfect blend of my husband and I. Being a mother is the most rewarding job, even though it is tough. In the end, she is worth it. She makes me want to be the best mother I can be. She has changed my life and I look forward to the next year and all the wonderful things it will bring. Happy Birthday Rebecca, My Angel. Mommy loves you.

I'm Back

I had a wonderful time in New York, but it is so good to be back home. I'm glad to get back into my boring daily routine. There is something comforting about it. I am very busy these days. Becca's birthday is tomorrow so hopefully today we will be buying her birthday presents and doing some last minute running around. I will still fill you in on my NY trip when I can find the time. Things are always crazy the first couple days home from a long trip. So, please be patient with me my wonderful followers. I missed you all and missed reading your blogs while I was away, so I am eager to see how you all have been. I will fill you in soon; there is much to tell :) Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for sending lovely wishes my way while I was gone :)

Headed for NY

Tomorrow morning I am leaving for New York. Becca's 2nd birthday party is on saturday. Her actual birthday isn't til next week, but we are doing a lot of traveling this summer and are trying to space it out a little bit so it's not too overwhelming for Becca. I am really excited for her birthday party. It should be a good turn out and the forecast is looking promising. It's going to be a Dora the Explorer theme...that's her favorite show. :) So, I have much to do. I need to make lists for everyone, and then pack everything on the lists. Then I need to clean out the car, which is still a mess from our last trip to NY in May. This trip is going to be a first. The will be my first driving trip alone with Becca and Max (our dog). Usually Eric (my husband) is always with us but he couldn't get the time off. So, he will be coming up separately on Friday and then he has to leave Sunday to be back to work Monday. I wanted to take the opportunity and spend a little extra time in town visiting family and friends I rarely get to see. Every time we go to NY we can only stay the weekend and there are so many people we don't get to see. So, this time I am coming up early and then staying in town 3 extra days without my husband. But, it'll be good. :) I probably won't have much computer access so I will post about my trip when I return next week. Hope you all have a great time while I'm gone and I'll catch you up when I get back :)

Thoughts in the Car - Part 2

I was able to have several hours to myself today, and because it is such a rare occurrence, I try to savor and appreciate every moment. I needed to go to Party City to get supplies and decorations for Becca's Dora-themed birthday party next week.
So, those of you that have read my previous posts know that going into town is a 40-minute drive one way. I tend to do a lot of reflecting when I'm in the car by myself. Anyway, on my way to the store I popped in a CD to listen to. Which one? My faithful readers know...yup, that's right, again...my favorite CD..."Fearless" by Taylor Swift. The song "Fifteen" comes on...the music starts...the first word is spoken, and I am taken back to my high school years. I am fifteen again. The memories flood my mind as Taylor Swift perfectly describes being a high school freshman. The awkwardness and uncertainty. Walking down the halls on your first day of school, getting lost in what feels like a hollow museum. Gazing around at your new schoolmates, looking for familiar faces but avoiding eye contact with strangers. And of course...there was that one boy. You know the one. When he smiles at you or even makes eye contact with you, it makes your entire day. I had a crush on a boy for 5 years, beginning in 7th grade. This boy was completely wrong for me, and I knew it. He was a slacker, had a wandering eye, used me, and ended up in jail, yet knowing all this, he still had the ability to give me butterflies. (No, I didn't marry this frog...we never even dated, I just admired him from afar and later found my prince).
The song continues..."you sit in class next to red-headed Abigail and soon enough you're best friends...laughin' at the other girls, who think they're so cool, we'll be outta here as soon as we can." Immediately high school best friend, Vanessa, comes to mind and I smile. :) I remember we had the same classes and we always sat next to each other...with one look we would smirk as we read each others thoughts. Chorus class we would giggle at our oddball teacher who marched to a different beat. We dragged our matching sandals, wearing our unintentional matching outfits to English class 5 minutes late and get scowled at by our teacher who was awaiting retirement that year. Study Hall we sat at "our table" at the library, not studying, but commenting on the fashion magazines we looked at together. Before class we would meet up at the cafeteria and each get a bagel and cream cheese and sit and eat together. People thought we looked like sisters; we were always together. Maybe not sisters by blood, but definitely by heart. There are no other years like your high school years. Seems like a former lifetime; forever frozen in time. Yet, with all the drama that high school comes with, I can now look back on it with a smile :) I graduated 10 years ago. Would I want to go back and re-live high school? Not a chance.

Birthday Wishes

Yesterday was my 28th birthday. Do I feel older? Yes. But not in a bad way. I am truly happy about where I am in my life right now. Last year was actually a terrible year for me, personally. I was very lonely and sad and unhappy with myself. Avoiding mirrors and hating what I saw in the reflection. The past six months I have been doing some soul-searching. Looking deep within and asking myself the hard questions. The big questions. I have been living my life day by day just to get by. Not really enjoying the life I have. I truly believe there is a lot more within me to explore. I want to be the best person I can be and not settle for mediocre. I want to challenge myself, learn new things and explore new opportunities. I am a quiet person and afraid of change, yet I complain that there is no excitement in my life. I want to be happy and confident in who I am and feel whole as a person. I am not there yet, but I am getting closer. My life is a good one, but what am I doing with it? My life could be taken away from me at any moment, so how come I'm not living to the fullest? I hope this next year brings new changes to me. I don't wish for things, I wish for personal growth. I am learning just how wonderful being a wife and mother truly is. Looking beyond the housework, and the sleep deprivation, and the responsibilities, to what really matters. Having a spouse who sees all the good in me, who loves me with all my flaws and out of all the women he has or hasn't met, has chosen me to spend the rest of his life with. Having a daughter who lights up my world and can melt my heart with a single smile, who depends on me to teach her how to live her life. I am blessed with wonderful family and friends who have very good lives. I want to embrace what is good in my life instead of focusing so much on what is not. Because there is so much more good than bad. Our attitude and our choices are what makes up our lives. I am focusing on my strengths and good qualities and trying to find opportunities to put them to good use. And my weaknesses I can choose to try to improve on but realize that I am not perfect, no one is. Another thing I am learning is to stop worrying so much about what everyone thinks of me. Sometimes I feel I live my life according to how everyone I know lives or how they expect me to live instead of making my own choices and finding out what I want out of my life. And most of all, the important thing that exceeds everything I've been learning on my path to self-discovery, is that I need God to direct my life because I suck at it. The older I get, the more I try to control everything, but I find that it only leads to dead-ends. Nothing but God can bring the satisfaction and fulfillment and inner peace and joy that is lacking in my life. He knows exactly all the things I am searching for, and He can lead me to the answers, He is just waiting for me to let go and ask Him for direction. Thank goodness He never gives up on me and is always there. Continues to love me even when I turn my back on Him out of selfishness and laziness. I look ahead to the next year with open-mindedness. Thankful for the struggles I've been through that has led me to who I am today. To become a complete puzzle, you need every single one of those pieces, both smooth and rough. I choose to believe my best days are still ahead of me and I have much to look forward to :)